The beauty of Hijab is in its difficulties

"If you’re not going to wear it right, you might as well take it off."

How many of us hijabis have heard this phrase one time or another? Spoken to like this after we spent the entire day actively having to triple-think what we do, say, or how we act because we are visual representations of Islam. We wear the hijab for Allah (SWT), and yet everyone thinks they have a right to give their opinions on our personal experiences with the hijab.

Make no mistake, I am not saying that there isn’t a clear goal as Muslim women we should strive to get to. However, it seems that men and women who lack empathy only ever see what their fellow sisters do rather than what they don’t do.

• For every loose hijab style, there is a girl that just recently stopped showing her front hair.

• For every bit of blush on a girl's face, there is a girl that recently stopped wearing eyeshadow altogether, even though that makes her insecure  beyond words.

• For every non-hijabi that just committed to never wearing short sleeves again during the summer, there is a past version of herself that never would have thought she’d be able to survive the summer dressing modestly.

Outsiders have a preconceived notion that we don’t want to be better for the sake of Allah or that we aren’t fighting our own internal struggles with hijab—whether it's in accordance with our clothing, hair, or makeup. But we spend every day praying that Allah guides us to the right way and the right hijab.

A Reflection of Our Own Hearts

"When your heart is clean, you won't assume everyone else's heart is dirty. When you're truthful, you won't assume everyone else to be a liar. What you see in everything around you is only a reflection of yourself."

May Allah purify our hearts and use us to purify that which is around us. Instead of assuming the worst of others, we should recognize that everyone is on a journey, and we don’t always see the full picture of their struggles or growth.

I have found that every time I was supported and told that they could see my growth towards full neck coverage, less makeup, and looser clothing, the more I wanted to take more steps towards modesty—because I felt appreciated and my struggles were seen.

However, every time I was chastised for my mistakes and only seen for what I do rather than what I had recently stopped doing, I felt hurt and cried. How could they not see that I love Allah and would never want to go against our Creator? That I want Allah to be happy with me?

Why This Phrase is Harmful

"If you’re not going to wear it right, then don’t wear it at all" is a harmful phrase that doesn’t show an ounce of empathy to the women and girls who are spending every moment of every day thinking about this, working on it, and struggling with it.

There are instances where people disrespect the hijab, and that is not what I am referring to. The hijab is a beautiful gift from Allah that is meant to help us, but it is meant to be hard, and people need to stop criticizing women—especially when they have absolutely no idea what is going on in their hearts, how far they’ve come, or how many more steps they are actively taking and making the intention to take to please Allah.

ShamsWaQamar: A Space for the girls 

ShamsWaQamar is a platform I want to build that will continue to grow in modesty as I continue on my own journey through modesty.

On this platform, we appreciate all the steps girls take towards modesty and notice all the things they stopped doing for the sake of Allah. We do not stand for those who only point out struggles and mistakes because Islam is a beautiful religion based on mercy, kindness, and guiding others through soft words.

May Allah make all your journeys towards the hijab easier and filled with barakah. 🤍